Vice President Biden: It's my birthday. Kindly wipe the floor with that innumerate little Koch-up Paul Ryan tonight.

Dear Vice-President Biden:

Tonight, I'm asking you to demand that Paul Ryan explain how someone can live on the average Social Security check of about $1,200 a month--and remember, that has to cover food; rent or mortgage; insurance; utilities (including water, garbage collection, electricity, and heating and/or cooling your residencw); clothes; car payments and/or car maintenance (and insurance for that) and/or train or bus expenses; and--here's a big one--needed medicines and services that Medicare doesn't cover--and not go straight over a "fiscal cliff" all his own.

Then, as a follow-up, ask Paul Ryan if, given that his Social Security check was swallowed up and then some by the above-described expenses, he would be okay with having a guy like Paul Ryan telling him, Here you go, here's a voucher for USD$8,000. Go out and get your own health insurance, old dude. Good luck with those no-pre-existing-conditions clauses!

Then ask Paul Ryan if he has any idea how much a defibrillator costs, should he need one of those when he's in his late sixties.

Ask him how, given that with his generous eight-thousand-dollar voucher, he'd only be able to afford the World's Shittiest Insurance Policy With Massive Co-pays and Deductibles, he would propose to pay for heart surgery. Or brain surgery. Or cancer surgery and followup chemotherapy. Or hell, even an uncomplicated hernia-repair, meaning things went without a hitch and the hospital wasn't required to keep him longer than a half-hour post-op.

Ask him if he will support requiring that all Ryan-Plan-advocating sociopaths in Congress give back (opt out of) their gold-plated, taxpayer-funded healthcare and, in its place, receive vouchers for eight thousand bucks. Oh, and they must also try to live on $1,200 a month, not their generous Congressional salaries (the ones they keep voting to raise, I'll add. Convenient!) and make up any healthcare shortfalls out of that.

Ask Paul Ryan if he knows how much a tin of tunafish costs today. How about a jar of peanut butter, Congressman? Store-brand fish-sticks? Ramen noodles?

Ask Paul Ryan how often he buys himself a new winter coat. From Goodwill.

Ask Paul Ryan if he's familiar with basic mathematics concepts.  Ask Paul Ryan if he's ever actually added and subtracted things on his own--no fair using the iPhone calculator app.

Ask Paul Ryan: If you, Joe Biden, were to walk over and place a stethoscope against his sternum right now, would you be able to hear anything beating?

Anything at all?

Thanks, Mr. Vice-President. Break a leg (among other things).

All Best,

Deborah