- Rove indicted and forced to answer questions under oath; then charged, tried, and hauled away for life.
- Cheney subpoenaed and forced to answer questions under oath; then indicted, charged, tried, and hauled away for life.
- Rummy's head implodes during an especially tight squint.
- Condi has heart attack while on treadmill.
- Halliburton's worldwide assets seized and applied to funding universal health care program for Americans.
- The Great Decider decides to move back to Texas permanently; suffers fatal brush-clearing accident.
- Al Gore...well, you know.
Looks like #1 and #2 are distinct possibilities in the near future.
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